A Letter From Yami Bakura
by Yami Maleci
Summary: Here's an amusing letter from Yami Bakura to his loving fans. Please Read and Review! Now with other random characters from YGO!
1. A Letter From Yami Bakura

A Letter From Yami Bakura

By: Kai

Kai: (grins) Yay for random ideas that pop up from reading Yami no Matsuei fan fiction!

Yami Bakura: Didn't I tell you Yaoi makes you do bad things, Kai?

Kai: (ignoring Yami Bakura) Meh, you lie!

Satoshi: (shudders) No Kai, its evil, though I suppose it's better then your blood and gore.

Reno: How bout' we don't go there.

Satoshi: Agreed.

Kai: (pouts) But Blood and Gore + Yaoi Kai happy!

Bakura: (falls over anime style) Kai-chan doesn't own YGO, but please read and review!

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Greetings annoying fan girls who write horrible, plot hole ridden fan fics about either A, me beating the living tar out of my Hikari and suddenly everything is okay or B, I'm gay with my Hikari.

While both I've heard make great plot holes (cough) I mean fan fiction there's a few things that have been bothering me.

First off, use your brains Yaoi fan girls; provided you have them, I can't be gay with myself! I don't have a body of my own unless I'm in the Shadow Realm and the last time I CHECKED I don't live in the Shadow Realm all the time. And another thing, as much as you sick, twisted Yaoi fan girls would love to see me blow myself I _sadly_ can't do that either. Though, I heard Kaiba-boy's is pretty multi-talented so you might have better luck bugging him.

Next topic: Will some crazy fan girl PLEASE explain to me the crazy phenomena where I beat my cute little Hikari till he's unconscious and then something bad happens and everything is suddenly sunshine and flowers! I've also noticed that creepy little fan girls having taken a liking to their favorite bishonen passing out, but I don't plan to touch that with a 7ft pole.

Now to recap the important facts, I'll even go slowly since I'm well aware of the fact that Yaoi fan girls have short attention spans.

Yami Bakura + Beating Hikari: WTF

Yami Bakura + Being gay with self: One hell of a plot hole

Moral of the story: Just say no, your neighborhood Bishonen will thank you.

Sincerely,

Yami Bakura

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Kai: Geez, who pissed in your cheerios this morning Yami B?

Yami Bakura: I can't help it if all Yaoi fan girls piss me off

Kai: (huggles Yami B) But not me and Kitten, right?

Yami Bakura: (glares) Especially you and Kitten.

Kitten: (stabs Yami B)


	2. A Letter From Seto Kaiba

Kai: Well, here's another random letter from your friendly neighborhood bishonen, namely Kaiba-boy

Kaiba: Don't call me Kaiba-boy

Kai: (grins) Why?

Kaiba: Because it pisses me off

Kai: Why?

Kaiba: Because you're annoying/

Kai: Why?

Kaiba: Why do you keep asking me why you annoying little fan brat!ogical

Satoshi: To piss you off

Kaiba: (glares at Satoshi) Shut up.

Satoshi: How bout we just start the chapter and be done with it.

Kai: I don't own YGO, or Kaiba-boy, but please Read and Review!

Kaiba: (is pissed) DON'T CALL ME KAIBA-BOY!

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Dear fan girls,

I've notice a series of frightening fan fiction popping up lately and I would like to address it. For one I AM NOT GAY WITH JOEY! (cough) I feel better now, why on earth would you sick little Yaoi freaks pair me with that mutt anyways? It's just illogical, it's irrational and I'm now claiming it's against my religion. I don't like him, he's an idiot and you could possibly pay me enough to go out with that freak. Now with that off my chest I'm going to address the next topic: Joey's sister. While a much better pairing idea then the thought of me being gay with Joey, it still doesn't work. If I wouldn't go out with Joey in a million years, what makes you think I would go out with his nasty sister? I'll leave that to that dueling monkey's friend and that dork with the dice in his ear.

Moving on, no matter what anyone says I'm so a better duelist that little runt Yugi. The only reason he always beats me is that he pulls some great card out of his ass the moment he needs it to win the duel! And he cheats too, with that stupid occult crap and his millennium bling.

Anyway, now with that off my chest I feel much better.

Sincerely,

Seto Kaiba not to be confused with "Kaiba-boy"

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Kai: Wow, you're an ass Kaiba

Kaiba: What can I say, stupid people piss me off.

Joey: Does that include yourself Kaiba-boy?

Kaiba: (growls) The next person to call me that dies!

Satoshi (smirks): Kaiba-boy


End file.
